Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events. I see that I am responsible for my own anger and resentment and criticism, and the response it has provoked in him. But I also see that he will never be someone who will hug me spontaneously, kiss my cheek when I am crying, grab my hand when we are walking, look me in the eyes and truly understand emotionally what I am going through. He doesn't like to make eye contact, unless it's an overly direct, almost aggressive stare, and pulls away quickly after a stiff hug.
I have started going to things by myself which may sound rude but at least I feel alive!!!! Not sure I can live with that in a husband, although I can love him as the wonderful father of my child that he is. He is very intelligent in some ways, especially about mechanical and electrical things and political topics, and oddly off base about very basic aspects of pleasant human interaction.
Men with AS often have some of the following traits, but they will vary in both number and level of severity from person to person: 1.
A special interest (e.g., coin collecting) is common in males with AS, and this may be something they have pursued for years.
I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. I wish I had read it about 15 years ago, before I married my husband in 2000. I am a physician myself who has worked with many children with DD and have also been reading every book I could find on the subject since I realized Aspergers was likely the cause of my husband's odd behaviors.
We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.
They may speak without weighing how their words will affect others. AS men have been known to pass blame onto other people. AS men have been known to explode over relatively minor things (e.g., a burnt meal, a missing book, etc.). However, the man may feel that he is a “bad” person to behave in such a way, yet feels powerless to change. In a romantic relationship, the AS man may resist physical touch and public or private displays of affection. Job interviews often pose a problem since the AS man has impaired social skills and may not respond appropriately, or may misread the interviewer’s body language. Males with AS have normally spent decades learning how to get by in life. Males with AS often have a reputation for being cranky and difficult.In an effort to save face and protect their fragile self-esteem, these males may blame others for things that they should take responsibility for themselves. People around them assume that they are simply ill-tempered or prefer their own company. Many AS males often desire friends, but may also be considered loners.