The celebrated, of course, are apt to fall into a world of drugs, drink, broken marriages and bankruptcy but even this is given the glamour treatment instead of the squalid misery that it is in reality. The majority of Number One’s are achieved early on in the artist’s public career and before they have been able to establish reputations and build a solid fan base.
Along with the soap stars, sporting heroes and selected (however distant) members of the Royal Family, pop stars belong to a glittering world of showbiz parties, at one end of the scale, to illicit liaisons, at the other, where their lives are dragged up, dressed up, made up and ultimately destroyed.
The formula will be untampered with and the success will be repeated a second, a third and sometimes even a fourth time.
Once or twice a decade an act will burst through with a Number One that hits a national nerve and the public’s appetite for the sound and packaging will not be satisfied with the one record.
TO RECEIVE THIS GUARANTEE PLEASE WRITE TO KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP21 7HG, U. WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND A PHOTOCOPY OF YOUR PURCHASE RECEIPT AND AN S. “HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE – THE EASY WAY” Be ready to ride the big dipper of the mixed metaphor.
GUARANTEE – HOW TO OBTAIN IT WE GUARANTEE THAT WE WILL REFUND THE COMPLETE PRICE OF THIS MANUAL IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO ACHIEVE A NUMBER ONE SINGLE IN THE OFFICIAL (GALLUP) U. CHARTS WITHIN THREE MONTHS OF THE PURCHASE OF THIS MANUAL AND ON CONDITION THAT YOU HAVE FULFILLED OUR INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK MARIE O’FLAHERTY FOR HER DEDICATION AND HARD WORK ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY AND WITHOUT WHOM WE WOULD NOT HAVE COMPLETED THIS MANUAL.
Being blokes it was easier writing it the way we did. Also, being on the dole gives you a clearer perspective on how much of society is run.
Mass appeal records can always transcend any apparatus they are played on; the exp ensive set up is only for judging coffee table records. Copies of the latest in the series of “Now That’s What I Call Music” and “Hits” LPs. A couple of the most recent dance compilation LPs (“The Techno Sounds of Dagenham Volume Vl”, etc.). All the 7″ singles in your house that ever made the Top 5. Address your envelope to: Sylvia Calver, Morgan Grampian Plc, Royal Sovereign House, 40 Beresford Street, London SE18 6BQ (telephone 01-854-2200) with a cheque or postal order for £15.00. If you do not already have any of the above, or are unable to borrow them, then we are afraid you are going to have to spend some real cash.
Now, we all know that pop music is not going to save the world but it does, undeniably, create a filing system for the memory banks.